Lay It Down. How can something that releases such pressure and pain be so excrutiatingly difficult? I have been through the process more than I care. I'm trying to be like more Jesus. What else should I expect when there is so much not Jesus in me?
Sometimes I surrender what is already gone.
Sometimes I surrender what will never be returned.
Sometimes I surrender and God allows it to remain.
I won't know which until the act is done.
Does God sometimes only want my willingness to lay it down? I wonder if that is the toughest surrender of all? God wants to be the one who shapes my thoughts, motivation, actions. He must be the only one who shapes them. When He allows it to remain, it is for His glory. It is not a ticket to take over. It is a reminder to be available, watchful, obedient, useful for His purpose.
Once again, I'm searching my heart and laying something down. Because I have so much practice, I know this time will not be quite as hard. Sometimes I stumble past my road blocks, but I always find on the other side of surrender what I am really seeking-an encounter with God. That wrap me in your arms, intimate availability when I know the particular, special love God has just for me. I lay my Isaac down and I pick up hope.
So God has given both His promise and His oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to Him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary. Heb 6:18-19
You promised me God, I have run to You. In the storm, Your anchor holds me. Your hope sustains beyond surrender. I lay it down.