Monday, January 19, 2009

God of the Small

I’ve had some major things happening the last few weeks. (My last post sums it up.) I am feeling better after a doctor visit and antibiotics just in time for hormones and fatigue to take main stage. I have to be gone from home most nights of the week and it is wearing on me. The tumultuous family situation continues to tumult. I have mostly reacted to the daunting situation by putting on my A game. Facing a mountain? Pour on the prayer. Need understanding? Dig deeper into scripture. Looking at the impossible? Plant that mustard seed.

But God keeps whispering to me. I am the God of the small. Wow, He’s got me on that one. This tumbled around in my mind last week and God immediately put me to the test. My daughter called in a pickle which would not have happened if she would have done what I asked the night before. As I drove to school to pick her up, anger festered. God spoke more clearly. I am the God of the small. In the short drive, I threw up a help me prayer and managed stifle sharp words about her unwillingness to obey me. I squeaked by that time.

But since then? I have to fess up. Not so good. Sure I’m still pontificating about the majors in my life, but I’m not measuring up in the minors. So many things are falling on the wrong side of the balance. How can God be my God when He isn’t God of my ALL? When He isn’t God of the small.

Show me, God I prayed. I got a bigger answer than I wanted to my “small” problem.

So I ask you to follow my example and do as I do. 1 Chor 4:16

It shocks me every time I read Paul’s words to the church at Corinth. He even tells them twice.

I am so glad dear friends that you always keep me in your thoughts and you are following the Christian teaching I passed on to you. 1 Chor 11:1

He says it again to the Philippians!

Dear brothers and sisters pattern your lives after mine and learn from those who follow our example. Phil 3:17

Paul spent a year and a half living with the Corinthians and building the church. Didn’t he ever have a bad day? Surely, there were some times he would liked to have had a do-over, or maybe he had an occasional slip of the tongue. I can’t imagine having that kind of confidence in my behavior to suggest, “Do what I do”. My daughter learns and models much of my good, but also many of the little not so good things I have tried not to teach. My actions are speaking louder in their silence than all my words.

Lord, help me surrender more each day and gain your strength. Thank you for helping me face those mountains. But when the little things that can trip me up come along, let me recognize them first and follow Your example. Change even my smallest actions into grace filled offerings. I want You to be the God of the small.

Monday, January 5, 2009

On the 5th Day

I’m looking forward. 2009. It seems like a gaping abyss from just five days into the year. But, if the first few days are any indication, this will be quite a year.

Day 1-Family events took a decided turn for the worse. Danger crouched near and evil was given free reign. It could have been a horrible night but for the grace of God, who I believe is not willing to let Satan win the battle. The difference this time is definite action was taken. Tuesday will tell us more of the possible outcome. I’m praying for MIRACLES and that lives will not go back to the broken function of far too many years.

Day 2- I went to my first practice for Community Players. A new and nervous experience for me which I hope God will use. My character might turn out to be a quite a flirt, so I’m wondering how to witness through that. Then, I picked up my daughter from her first holiday trip to see family in California. I haven’t seen 2:00 a.m. on purpose for a VERY LONG TIME. She had a fabulous time. My niece was taken to emergency with kidney stones and will have surgery in the next couple of days to remove them.

Day 3-I got sick with nasty cold with a terrible headache and sore throat, both unusual for me. Felt drained, but managed to get Christmas decorations down. However, I slept through my first afternoon with my daughter home.

Day 4-Attempts are made of family situation from Day 1 to place pieces and lives back to familiar and over worn places, others are rightfully resisting. Another family member is getting a biopsy. Another niece is engaged and planning an August wedding. How exciting!

Day 5-It all makes me very aware of our need for the work Jesus willingly performed on our behalf. I am amazed at how patient God is and how many chances He allows. I can clearly see that He truly does not want anyone to perish. I am confident and hopeful that God is at work and this year we will see His miraculous work in our family.

THE LORD is my Light and my Salvation--whom shall I fear or dread? The Lord is the Refuge and Stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?

When the wicked, even my enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell. Though a host encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, in this will I be confident.

One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek, inquire for, and require: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold and gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to meditate in His temple. For in the day of trouble He will hide me in His shelter; in the secret place of His tent will He hide me; He will set me high upon a rock.

And now shall my head be lifted up above my enemies round about me; in His tent I will offer sacrifices and shouting of joy; I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord.