M and M Day

By noon I had finished six loads of laundry, canned the last of the tomato crop into flavor packed juice, finished a batch of stewed cranberry apples (Yum!), and have the crock pot bursting with a batch of cinnamon apples. If today goes as planned my house and I will be ready for the cover of Today’s Christian Superwoman. Oh dear, wrong title.

It is an M and M day.

It started well enough, although way too early for a Saturday. Mary always starts the day talking with God before I leave cover and pillow behind. As I shuffle to my favorite chair with perfectly creamed, sweet coffee in hand, I anticipate intimate time with my Lord. Reading my study chapter, I feel Martha tapping my shoulder. You need to get going soon, lots to do. Not until my worship time is done, I think. Not until God speaks. You don’t want to work all day. Besides, there are places you need to be. I want to experience God, leave me alone. Back and forth bantering continues until too distracted for quiet time, I climb from my chair and start the day. The scene outdoors catches my attention as I pause to breathe it in. The early morning is cloaked in fog so heavy it hints of an earlier rain. I can barely see across my yard. The murky, foggy morning settles heavily upon me.


Martha efficiently juggles wash, apples and tomatoes until she hears Mary. I know you would feel so much better if you went back to finish your time with God. The tomatoes are ready for the next step. To pacify that pesky Holy Spirit, I multitask by practicing the music I will sing in the next few weeks. Singing and canning. Canning and singing. Make me over, Make me new. Scooping the stewed tomato, pepper and onion mixture into the food mill, I churn the life out of the vegetables and press it through the mill. Singing and pressing. As the morning wears on, my kitchen window reveals lessening fog mixed with a hint of sun. Churning and singing.

Make me over, Make me new.
Make me a mirror, a reflection of You.
Take me all apart take me to Your heart and pull me closer.
Oh, Jesus, make me over

I watch the transformation of the mixture inside the mill. My singing comes to life. I hear it. I suddenly get it. A beautifully smooth liquid emerges from the distasteful mush inside the mill. Yes Lord, take me all apart. Just like the difference of the tomatoes from one side of the mill to the other. Make me over.

But that isn’t what you were taught when you learned about Christ. Since you have heard all about Him and have learned the truth that is in Jesus, throw off your old evil nature and your former way of life, which is rotten through and through, full of lust and deception. Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes. You must display a new nature because you are a new person in God’s likeness, righteous, holy and true. Eph 4:20-24 NLT

The tomato juice is lined up and cooling on the counter.

The sun has burned off the fog revealing a beautiful afternoon.

On this M and M day, Mary is the example I will follow.

Credits: Make me Over, Natalie Grant, Bernie Herms, Stephanie Lewis

Full Throttle

I have been going full throttle with activities almost every night for the last few weeks. Granted it was not all work. School activities were mixed with some fun things, and even new ministry opportunities. They have been good weeks. Yet, I could feel my gears grinding from overdrive down to first. I was beginning to feel like I might be destined for the crash wall around turn three.

Then came Sunday. Pull it into the pit for an engine check, tire change and refueling.

Worship with my family of believers today was, well, heavenly. Some Sundays are just more than others. I will take responsibility for the others not being up to par. I’m sure God never slacks off. But today, there seemed to be more of God, more of His Holy Spirit, more of our hearts humble and expectant before Him. More communion. Just as the winds blew change outside, the Spirit moved change within. Hundreds were there, but I felt one-on-one with God.

Ahhh, neutral. I’ll put it park and recharge the battery.

What made the difference between today and the times I may not feel so up close and personal with God? I wish it was because I was so in tune with Jesus and so obedient to God that I was rewarded with a heavy duty dose of His Spirit. But, I can’t take any of the credit. The only thing I had to offer was a heart humbled and open. God is God and He was God in a BIG way today.

Thank you Lord. You are the master mechanic. I’m tuned up and ready to hit the track again.

Crosswise

Everything seemed so at odds today. A restless, agitated feeling permeated everything I did. I was impatient, unkind and unsupportive. It was a day I seemed to tear down rather than build one another up. I prayed several times for a friend particularly in need. Were they prayers of a righteous woman that availed much? I’m relieved to know many others are praying also.

Why are some days so crosswise?

I started my day in the word with quiet time and prayer. I tried to keep praises singing in my heart. I felt like His spirit was on the other side of my closed door. A door I tried to open, only to slam my shoulder against its heavy timbers. Maybe I wasn’t trying hard enough or focusing on God with all my energy. The day is done and I’m still asking.

Why are some days so crosswise?

Just get up tomorrow and do it again. What God? The mountain top is a peak, not a plateau. Most of the journey is either up or down. Can’t I just plop myself down at the top and hang out a while? I love doing that! It’s so much easier and what a view. That isn’t where the cross is. Today you’ve come crosswise. You have to choose where you go beyond the cross. Up to Me or down to you.

Some days are so Cross wise.

Scale Tales

There it was in black and white. My not so innocent deception. For the past year I've placed a higher priority on my health. I'm concerned about blood pressure, bone density, muscle loss, basically old age getting the best of me. Ok, vanity says, "It's your appearance". There's a lot of me headed south for the Winter, and I'm not in Texas.

Being concerned about "health", I had a scale but didn't let it rule my life. I set loftier goals. Getting back into the jeans I haven't had on in years being one of them. So what's a number on a scale anyway? Honestly, I didn't know my exact weight, I could change the scale by five pounds just by how I stood on it.

Then God in His great humor, tricked me into buying a new digitally balanced scale that can even track my progress. I can hear Him chuckling now. From the moment I set foot on it, I knew it was going to be a tenuous relationship. There is a reason it is black. How dare the scale say I weigh that! (Actual weight not pictured.) Stepping off and back on again, a great trick on my old scale, did nothing to change the outcome. Drat the accuracy, the unflinching truth.

The chuckling died away and God got serious. How do you measure yourself? The cover of the magazine? What your friends think? Or, what you think they think? Big difference. What scale will you use to measure your life?

My word. Perfectly balanced. Always accurate. That's your scale. Balance your life, your emotions, your growth by what I give you in scripture.

A false balance is an abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is His delight. Prov 11:1

Like my old white scale, the world is fickle, changeable. I can lean a little to the side and get a response that makes me feel better about myself. Far too often, I let the world dictate my spiritual fitness. Not often enough do I weigh myself against the accuracy of scripture. Alright God, I hear You. I'm stepping onto Your scale and into Your word. You've given it to me in black and white.

Backing Forward

“Still, accepting God’s existence is one thing; honoring his command is another matter entirely, especially if we’re required to go back when we’d rather go forward.”~Liz Curtis Higgs

I had no choice. Every part of my life was ripped away and shattered beyond repair. The dark giants were celebrating their victory as I lay immobilized in pain and confusion. How could my life have come to this point? I have tried to be faithful. I thought I was following God. I tried to stand for truth and listen to Him. Admittedly, my life was not completely honoring Him. I had allowed the rebellion of others and their pursuit of sin to infiltrate my life. But did I deserve this? Deserve it or not, I was being fed to the wolves. I made the hardest phone call of my life, and back I went to a familiar, now foreign place. Home. I’ve stayed since.

The day I left home I was young, full of hope and sure I was headed where God wanted. Returning years later, every hope crushed, I was desperately alone. All I felt was shame and failure. I constantly cried out to God. Can I have any part of my life back? You want me to do what? Where do you want me? Who do you want me to be? Show me God.

At first the answers came in bits and pieces. As I grew stronger, I saw answers faithfully and lovingly come, even when I didn’t like the process.

Fast forward over a dozen years. The hurt of that dark time has faded so that I have trouble conjuring the emotion. I am changed and I am so completely thankful. I would have never become who I am now in my former circumstances. I pray dozen years from now I look back at today and say, I am changed.

Is there really any going back with God? What if my puny little mind just doesn’t get it. The journey I mean. Is it about going back, or staying or going? It’s inside. Scraping away what is not Him and asking Jesus to fill the gaps and make me over.

There are days I wish He would allow so many things to be different. Times will come when I long to hear "Go". On those days, I will fall back into His arms, stay in His care and go where he leads. And I can do all that right where I am.