Coulda Shoulda

I had a meeting today at work. We have had tons of them lately. You know, the economy and all. We are intensely analyzing, planning and strategizing. Tough stuff. The funny thing about lending insight to our business is that it invariably comes home to roost. Irritating. Take my latest word of encouragement, and I’m using that term loosely, to this contribution to the meeting.

“Maybe we should have done this last year when the advice came through. We could have done that instead and maybe things would be easier now.” Heads nodded in understanding and talk moved on. Was I the only one who really heard what was said? Oh, gentle woman that I am I couldn’t let that pass unnoticed.

“Wait, let’s go back to that point. We could have? We should have? We need to be saying we have and we will. It is too important to our future. We can’t overanalyze ourselves to indecision. It’s time for action. Of course we might make some mistakes, but never making a decision and taking action is almost always wrong.”

Now I haunt myself. I’m the nag at the back of my own mind. I am a Coulda Shoulda pile of inactivity. And it’s too important to my future. There are things I want to do and be and ways I hope God can use me. Much of that seems to be lost in inertia. Huh? Why did I pick that word? It is not common to my vocabulary.

Inertia: Medicine/Medical. lack of activity, esp. as applied to a uterus during childbirth when its contractions have decreased or stopped. From dictionary.com

Facinating. I’ve been fervently praying for direction and a more clear understanding of God’s call and desire for my life. Now God plops a word in my mind that relates to the process of birth coming to a stop. I’m staring at these words and all I can think is. That’s scary. The last thing I want is to stop growing. He wants me to be more for Him. Renewed. Reborn. Is God trying to bring something to life that I am holding back with my inertia?

The journey of the Israelites is a great example. They were promised so much, but they didn’t have the faith and gumption to walk in and receive God’s gift in the promised land. Their lack of acting on God’s promises led to disbelief, sin and eventually forfeiting the life they could have had. Although God was rightfully just to put me in the wilderness, he is also faithful to restore. There is no better preparation for the heart than the wilderness. I want to be more for Him. How do I move from Coulda Shoulda to I Have I Will? How do I move from inertia to birth a new life?

Clear the way for the Lord in the wilderness. Make smooth in the desert a highway for our God. Let every valley be lifted up and every mountain and hill be made low and let the rough ground become a plain, and the rugged terrain a broad valley. Then the glory of the Lord will be revealed. Isaiah 40:3-5

That takes work. Plain and simple. Preparing the way in my heart for God takes the effort of laying down my will and my humanness. It takes picking up the spiritual shovel and putting in some back breaking, sweat producing exertion. Everything in me must be placed on God’s scale. Anything that doesn’t measure up? Gone. Ouch!

Maybe I can’t work past my Coulda Shoulda inertia until I absolutely believe the other side of the river truly is better. It is promised. What is it worth?

Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold I will do something new. Now it will spring forth: Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert. Isaiah 44:3.

This is a promise and declaration to Israel. Quit treading in the sea of regret. Yeah, I could have and should have done a lot of things. But I didn’t. No surprise to God. Now he urges me to look forward. Be aware of the new life he is sprouting. God spent 40 years displaying his protection and miracles in ways we haven’t seen since. The “something new” is a miracle so much more magnificent than any previous; the people will completely forget what happened in the past. I have and I will.

Commit thy way to the Lord, trust also in Him and He shall bring it to pass. Psalm 37:5